“I’m sorry.” Three small words that can be surprisingly hard to say, especially in relationships that exchange authority where expectations can complicate even the best intentions. In this class, we’ll explore what it means to offer a clean, meaningful apology. We’ll examine why apologizing can feel so vulnerable or threatening, and how entrenchment, triggers, and miscommunication can get in the way of resolution. We’ll also talk about the myth that apology is a sign of weakness, especially for those in leadership, and how real strength lies in owning our impact. This class isn’t just about saying the right words. It’s about listening, taking responsibility, and using apology as a tool for healing and growth, no matter which side of the slash you live on. Join Tomo for an honest, experience-based conversation about conflict, repair, and the courage it takes to say, “I’m sorry,” and mean it.
Presenter: Tomo
Tomo (He/They) is a gender queer butch leatherdyke who found the leather community during a sunset motorcycle ride with his wife Mel three decades ago. He has presented classes, produced events, served as a judge, keynote speaker, auctioneer and emcee at leather events since. Tomo has been served by his Majordomo Levi for over 17 years. Tomo is Owner and Producer of South Plains Leatherfest, the International Master slave Contest and the International Person of Leather Contest. He served as Northwest slave 2015 and International slave 2016/2021. He was a Producer of Northwest Leather Celebration, the Northwest Master slave, Northwest Bootblack, and Northwest Person of Leather Contests. He was also a Producer of International Ms Leather Weekend, the International Ms Leather Contest and the International Ms Bootblack Contest for seven years. He co-produces the Ms Sacramento Leather Contest and is a founding member of the D.U.C. Tomo is a member and serves as Webmaster for Queer Leather Association Sacramento, has served as the West Coast Curator for the Leather Quilt Project, is a former Director of MAsT: Sacramento , and is a member of MAsT: San Francisco and The Exiles. He was awarded the 2013 Pantheon of Leather President's Award, the 2018 Master slave Conference slave Heart Award, the 2020 Vice President’s Award from the National Leather Association, the 2023 Master slave Conference Guy Baldwin Master/slave Heritage Award, and the 2024 SouthEast Leatherfest Community Award.